Is Social Media Really That Important?
When you're an online writer, the answer is probably/definitely yes.
Well, folks, I did a thing. It’s a small thing in the grand scheme but a thing nonetheless. I’m officially off social media. I deactivated Facebook, logged out of Instagram (because I can’t figure out how to delete my account), and deleted TikTok. Although I did save all of my TikTok videos where I recite poetry about my vagina and nearly shitting myself in the Walmart meat department.
Those mighty come in handy sometime!
It was a necessary move since scrolling for hours through the mindless minutia that is my Facebook homepage was spurring my depression on and causing me far more nervous diarrhea than one person can cope with.
I’ve got things to do, dammit!
I was feeling optimistic about the entire thing until recently when I published a story on one of my favourite Medium Publications, Fanfare. Usually, when I post there, my reads increase dramatically, especially when writing my Direct Quotes series, where I show my teenage kids a classic movie and scribble down all their hilarious reactions from the film.
Now, however, without the magic of sharing this newest piece on Facebook or Twitter, I’m not seeing my usual viewership.
But because I’m a stubborn mule, I don’t want to run back to social media just yet. Instead, I will be sharing an additional Substack newsletter every weekend with three of my latest/favourite recently published pieces for your reading enjoyment.
I’ve included a free link with each piece, so even if you’re not a Medium member, you can click on the titles below and have yourself a fun little read, bypassing the Medium paywall.
So without further adieu, here are some LRB pieces you may have missed:
Direct Quotes from My Kids While Watching Feris Bueller’s Day Off
“When I say I love this movie, I mean I looooooooove this movie. It is the essence of what all teenagers should aim to achieve in their high school careers.
Yes, sure, study hard and get into a great university.
But also — skip school at least once and have yourself an adventure, kids!
In fact, I said these exact words to my children as I prepared them to watch this fantastic film.
Considering my track record with the movies I’ve subjected them to for my Direct Quotes series, they looked on, dubiously.”
I’m the Asshole Who Thinks She’s Funnier Than the Stand-Up Comedian
“So there I was, joking about how my vagina has gotten more laughs in the past week than this guy, and although my boss David has made it very clear he doesn’t want to hear about my whisker biscuit, he still was more amused by my tales of the pink taco than anything this bro on the stage was saying.”
Teenagers Run Away from Wood-Burning Stoves
“Spring is a terrible time to move your child into a new school. Alliances have already been made. Cliques are set in granite and polished reflectively.
Each child understands deep in their soul what their purpose in that classroom is — having already endured countless group projects, paper mâché partnerships, and the dreaded oral presentation. A newcomer entering a classroom any time after the Christmas holidays is akin to getting tossed into a herd of uninterested llamas. Your classmates may spit in your general direction initially, but the actual slight is how little they care about your presence in general.
I had just been tossed to the llamas.”
Once again, lovely readers, thank you for indulging my rampant ego—it’s swelling at the seams, just the way I likes it.
Hilarious!! Keep up the film reviews - it's all very funny. Social media sucks too, you are absolutely right.
Deleted FB months ago along with Twitter and regular posting. And yes, views have completely flatlined. It is what it is. Do I sacrifice mental health just to please Tony promoting his Medium machine and he'll reciprocate? It's all bollocks. I never earnt enough to quit my day job but now it feels impossible. I applaud the move. The more time offline, the better you are mentally.