Reasons Why I Might Be Going to Hell

Reasons Why I Might Be Going to Hell

Notes From the Disgruntled Garden Plants

It’s too late to yeet us now, b*tches.

Lindsay Rae Brown's avatar
Lindsay Rae Brown
Jun 16, 2025
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The Zucchini

Look, we appreciate the fact that you’ve brought us life. We really do. But did you even research how large zucchini plants get? Like, considering the overall proximity of this garden patch, we feel that the six inches of space between each plant are sort of a smack in the flowers.

Literally, we are so plentiful, we are smacking into e…

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