Zamboni Operator Attempts to Run Down Woefully Unathletic Child
Woefully unathletic child survives to tell the tale 26 years later
My ice skates are unsteady despite being Canadian. Ten years old, and I’m always last off the rink during the brutal indignity of skating lessons. Blades wobbly parallel, I make slow progress to the boards — my salvation.
An engine roars throughout this artificial ice land. Although the machine beast moves slowly, I know this will be my undoing. It’ll pull me under, wrap me up in its terrifying twirly doo brushes, and spin me into oblivion.
I freeze, staring into my uncertain future.
The Zamboni man yells, “Hey kid, get the hell off the ice!”
Lindsay Rae Brown typically writes long, drawn-out accounts of her childhood, so this less than 100-word story is a feat of pure ingenuity. Zamboni Man is based on true events. At the time, Lindsay’s father had to rescue her from the ice due to her freezing in fear at the sight of the terrifying ice-cleaning machine. Neither the Zamboni operator nor Lindsay’s Dad was impressed with the situation.
Lindsay survived to tell the tale.
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